War of the Burning Sky

Entry #86 -- Wherein Ettins Are Dumb

...and really bad at following suggestions.

I’m beginning to think we’re lost, Mr. Book. We’ve been in this fog for what feels like… a really long time.

The guilder was grumbly and mumbly, Bird-Lady and the big guy burned the dead monk’s bodies and kept walkin’ through the fog.

I thought Rylik would’ve helped me kill one of the new guys, but he said somethin’ about ‘disliking us all equally’. It also didn’t help that the guilder heard me. So I tried to ask Bre, but Laurya told me to go ‘scout ahead’. Which is impossible to do in this stupid fog. I think they actually TRUST the guy.

We walked our way into some weird mutant monster things. They looked like giants with two heads, right? Except they had like some weird wings and feathers pokin’ out of ‘em like they were supposed to fly. I think they were so stupid that they crash-landed and broke their wings. I’m not kiddin’ — They’re REALLY stupid. They also spoke Giantish, which made it reaaaaaally easy to get them to do stuff I wanted… like kill the new guys. It was Esme’s idea, which was way better than just killin’ them myself.

At least, it would’ve. The dumb things are SO dumb, they couldn’t even do THAT right! Castagrin was barely being tickled by the things and the guilder just hid in the shadows like a sneaky cheat. I mean, sure, I hid up in a tree and stuff… but Bre was gettin’ hurt bad, so I told one of ‘em I had super tasty treats and I wasn’t gonna share with him. I thought he would try to pick up a rock and throw it at me, but he CLIMBED up the tree after me. These things were waaaaaay too dumb to live. It didn’t take long for us to kill ’em all.

Let that be a lesson, Mr. Book: two-headed giants make for really bad minions.



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